August 20, 2012

I'm Home

Trees are so fascinating; they speak the loudest conversations silently. Not a word uttered and yet it remains that all they say brings forth a path of beauty, adventure and wholeness. I miss that part of me; the secretive paths of sheer purity, my ability to touch something around me and my heat-felt smile.

It's been haunting me lately. I never in my life felt I belonged anywhere nor do I now. It simply is that I feel home just being near this one person in my life. I cannot seem to let go of this fear of yet again pushing someone I care about more than anything in the world away. Just recently, I lost two very important people in my life who I have embraced as family and accepted to lean on when in need; something I'd never do in my previous life. The painful fact is that I do not know what it is that I am which led them to want to hate and hurt me so much.

I have nothing to offer but myself and yet again it seems to those I care about the most that it does not really matter. I cannot help anyone nor feel that this comfort I have is right. Things will change soon, I know, and probably not to the best. But, I will try to wrap my head around the idea that things don't last longer than they should and move on. It's inevitable.

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