December 17, 2009

Investigatin me!

Good morning, evening and night to you dearest of readers,

It is never too late and for sure never wrong to introduce yourself over and over again from time to time, just to make sure people get to know "the blogger" and keep them interested in reading even more about "you".

Let's start...

My name is Fatima Jamal Bunafoor, a just-turned-20-years-old college girl majoring in English Language & Literature and minoring in American Studies in the University of Bahrain. I am a second daughter with an older brother and three younger sisters, Mary J 19, and the twin Zain and Farah who are 12 years old. Mom passed away about 7 years ago and dad took on a new bachelor’s lifestyle a couple months right after her death. He remarried, losing all five of us, got two new sons and got divorced about two years later. Granma went through hell trying to get our custody since dad was a really "nice" gentleman and the demon from hell, his wife that is, managed to torture my baby twin sisters who were only six years old at the time.

Ever since, we have moved in and out of about 4 houses till we settled down here right opposite dad's house with my mom's family, awkward isn't it! Now, we, that is ALL 10 of us including my sisters, brother, grandma, her two sisters - my great aunts, my direct aunt, and her son and daughter- my cousin. A full house you may say!

Enough details, back to the main subject - that is - ME! Kiddin'..

I barely made it through high school to college, I was not at all excited about studying because I was always frustrated with life, negative and depressed - the usual teen mentality. I am a very superstitious person not in the pattern that goes around walking in the street and runs into a black cat or an owl and gets freaked out, but in the sense that I over thinking stuff that at some points I believe I am paranoid and have daydreams that feel like premonitions about bad things that might happen. Oddly enough, a lot of those things do turn true. This obsession with analyzing, questioning, over thinking and insecurity has led me to suffer from a lot of phobias of heights, transportations, speed, darkness, stairs, sharp weapons, water, and even speaking to people freely. Insane I know!

Now you probably think I am seriously troubled but I am not =P.. Ask anyone, they all love me! And I am not even kidding! I wish I was it is killing me sometimes..

Moving on, what else... What else???

Oh yeah,, Relationships.. Ohhh.. spicy, naah! Pretty much normal..

Let's see..

Family-wise, I am unable to really connect with my family. I sometimes feel like I am this wild untamed horse belonging to the wild yet held in a closed stable and no one dares to brush her hair. I find peace in being absolutely forgotten and once I am remembered I erupted like a violent volcanic explosion scaring all those in the way. I can be pretty much hurtful because I am very much the keep it all in kind of person till the tipping point arrives, then, you do not really want to be around to witness that. Nonetheless, I love my family, yada yada yada and all that usual nonsense which amazingly is always true.

Friendship-wise, do not believe in it, yet all the people I know think I am one of their closest friends, I intend no cruelness, and all I do is try to be helpful for the sole aim of being moral nothing more or less, and this morality attaches friendship to such a relationship. My closest of people do understand that very clearly and try to work it out but never really grasp it but it always ends up harming them because I always just try to be nice even though I pretend like friendship is working out for me till the point it doesn't. To top all of this, I currently have two great best friends whom I really trust out of all people in ways I am unable to describe and I am fortunate to be able to trust anyone at all again in my life, past has been pleasant and you only seen the proof print with the flowery pictures as in all stories I suppose.

Boys-wise, not too crazy about them, never thought it was important to have a boyfriend, oh wait I am not supposed to say that it is forbidden, I mean fiancé people. I said nothing; it is all in your imaginations. I liked a guy kind of for about 3 years since high school but never really got to get to know him in a way that made me thinking "Yep, he is something." Though he really was something, he is still today a very dear brother of mine and I respect him to death. This year, I met an old friend who I always thought was cute, but innocent I never thought of anyone more than a friend brother. I got to know him even better, being the decent, handsome and the most thoughtful gentleman in the world that he is I found myself saying "Yes, he is a keeper." Yet, I failed =P.. The reasons are that I am a chicken, no, not really! I just was not comfortable with the whole idea of being in a relationship and being nervous all the times sends out the wrong signal. Big no no if you ask me. And we lived happily ever after.

People-wise, I love everything about it. The only things I really hate are that I cannot seem to be able to keep a straight face, be brutally honest and keep my promises, I seriously detest that!

Now.. Shall we move on to the funny, interesting and most revealing part of the show, I mean program, I mean blog, never mind, you know what I mean!

The good, the bad & the ugly! NAH! The usual stuff..

Little things about me, I love three colors in three forms; white for roses, dark red clothes on other people and the divine purple simply everywhere! I hate pink though it suits me because I am black, I hate short hair though mine is, and I detest chocolate in all forms, shapes and any other relevant eatable conditions!

I adore my smile and thank God for it. I love arts in all forms; I draw, write, read, meditate, design and clean when I am nervous or anxious it helps me calm down and refocus. Unfortunately, I do not manage to do that almost at all with my lifestyle but for the time being I stick to staring at the roof I it is very peaceful; I hope I can fix that though somehow soon. I am interested in politics, arts - as I mentioned above, youth issues, environment, empowerment, justice, traditions, music, poetry, basketball, volunteering and many others.

I am not at all into appearances including mine, just to be clear. I hate make up though I need some, glitter and shimmer, and I certainly find shopping a torture to humanity. I used to seriously obeisant and now I am just a bit overweight – I can actually say that. I own only two dresses, one of which I was forced to buy then wear and the second I have not worn yet – waiting for the right occasion I suppose. I am pretty much freaked out easily, you can stand right next to me talking and talking then touch my shoulder and I would scream in fear – kelesh Aadi! I am crazy about children especially those who are just speaking and have all the wrong pronunciations and cute voices.

Well, that was seriously long.. A couple of silly things to add..

- I love chewing gum; I can finish a whole pack in minutes and don’t even share!
- My favorite food is strawberry cheesecake ice-cream!
- I have a thing for the number 3, it is somehow connected to my life in so many ways!
- Do not even think about mentioning lemonade when ain’t got it to me in the middle of the desert I will make lemonade out of you!
- I hate technology, all forms, from wheels to computers, specifically PCs.
- I will write a book and have it published.
- My dream is to make a change in my lifetime

There it is, that is all how it went down, form the planning to the robbery! Very dramatic indeed!


I really enjoyed writing this very long piece of writing about myself and for the very first time, this is directed to my dear teacher Dr. Linda Bilton, I am not feeling ashamed and sure of having done a great job.

Until I have more to say, please feel free to comment, object, subject, elaborate or even question.
I will be more than happy to hear some feedback.

Sincerest of regards,
Fatima Bunafoor