October 4, 2012

Sugarcubes of Life

I would very much enjoy every bit of emotions if I were a morning dew. Life would be far more real. Things have changed since last summer. I have gained wonderful people after losing so many neglected souls all at once. Two people have made this past year worth going through and certainly have eased the tides I had to face knowing I was not going to be alone.

Nonetheless, things have gotten out of hand. You see, I became human for once in my lifetime; I was able to tastes food, breath Oxygen in and feel emotions I never thought I was fortunate enough to be given the blessing of during my short time on planet earth. Things became far more important, warmer and colors tasted so sweet once I experienced the different textures they became once they blended with my soul. I became alive.

Not too shortly, however, I lost that wonder. I became greedy, I think. Too much of a selfish human being that was addicted on the elixir of life, once.

My mom passed away ten years ago. My father disowned me nine years ago. I turned forty eight years ago. I was sexually molested for the second time seven years ago, I took off my scarf six years ago. I became socially known five years ago. I embraced a career four years ago. I started applying for international scholarships three years ago. I came to the United States two years ago. And I gained political asylum one year ago.

They say, water is blue because it reflects the color of the sky.What a beautiful notion this is when we embrace our insignificance and attempt to draw a prettier image for our lives. This makes things better, sometimes, especially when after eight years of pure nothingness, you are just You.

August 21, 2012

I rimes if you only attempt

Stepping slowly along the widened alley
Disappears, it disappears like an allusion
Just follow the river into the valley
You’ll find your own sacred confusion
Pray faithful, my friends do not bury
We witness our souls collide in fusions instant.

We love so hastily, so passionate, so ill
Disappear, It disappears in an hour.
Oh! We love, yes, love, what a whim
And our passion us rapidly devour
Do not wallow, dear, do not mill
After yesterday & today come to-morrow
smothered in burry fur.

Hasting, hasting we disappear so fast
Amidist the fading mirrors of was
Not the presenet, it is what's past
That we rectify as our ‘cause
Fading in a garden of one last
Hiss of them saving the buzz
Till that black shapely mark ends


يبقى بيني و بين ما أتنفسه من هواء الحرية بضعة أنفس تحاربُ المجهول.

أقفُ اليوم عرياء أمام مرآة الحقيقة البحرينية لأجد نفسي خلف قضبان التغيير في زنزانة حقيرة مجهولة المعالم

بعد سفك الدماء و إعادة تأسيس المنافي للجميع من قبل العائلة الحاكمة في البحرين، استدرك البعض أن الوقت قد حان لبذل السبل و السعي 

يتلاشى الماضي فقط عندما نستوعب المستقبل. لا يمكن للمرء أن يقف دون أرض يستند عليها و لا يمكن للبحرين أن تتغير إلا عندما نتقبل اختلافاتنا  لا خلافاتنا فهي الارضية التي يجب أن نبني عليها لتتلاشى.

August 20, 2012

I'm Home

Trees are so fascinating; they speak the loudest conversations silently. Not a word uttered and yet it remains that all they say brings forth a path of beauty, adventure and wholeness. I miss that part of me; the secretive paths of sheer purity, my ability to touch something around me and my heat-felt smile.

It's been haunting me lately. I never in my life felt I belonged anywhere nor do I now. It simply is that I feel home just being near this one person in my life. I cannot seem to let go of this fear of yet again pushing someone I care about more than anything in the world away. Just recently, I lost two very important people in my life who I have embraced as family and accepted to lean on when in need; something I'd never do in my previous life. The painful fact is that I do not know what it is that I am which led them to want to hate and hurt me so much.

I have nothing to offer but myself and yet again it seems to those I care about the most that it does not really matter. I cannot help anyone nor feel that this comfort I have is right. Things will change soon, I know, and probably not to the best. But, I will try to wrap my head around the idea that things don't last longer than they should and move on. It's inevitable.

June 27, 2012


I feel suffocated with emotions almost all the time; between wanting to be and failing, being thrown away and abandoned all the time, and missing parts of my morality. I used to be complete despite of lacking many things I thought to be essential to my existence to be fulfilled. But now, I am simply suffocated. Thousands of miles away from Bahrain and I am still teargassed to suffocation. I can't breath hope any more. It seems as if I am stuck in this maze of dark twisted alleys searching for an escape.

Tear-gassed thousand of miles away form my beloved country where no longer I may find a home. Between the awes of  a sinking ship called "family" and the past of my current existence.

I wish to return to earth one day as a tree trunk; simple, strong and silent. I like to think of myself in those terms today but in reality, I am far away from that. I am nothing but a silent wall of murders left alone for decades to rot in disbelief, hopelessness and chaos. A floating object struggling to make it to the other side of the river in search of a new beginning.